Drunken Interview With Vince in the Bay

December 10th, 2013 illunatic

The vodka made it a bit challenging, but with the help of @BLCKMSSH we were able to get an exlusive interview with Vince in the Bay. These answers may not be 100% accurate, but I could have told you they were and you’d never know so why don’t you stfu about it like you knew the difference between a Hitler and Mandela quote, bitch!

GP: Which bay are you in?
Vince: I’m in the San Francisco Bay Area. How many other bays are there? Tampa Bay? Green Bay? Come on!

GP: Where do you stand on file-sharing?
Vince: I have no problem with file-sharing. It’s sharing. I share things with people all the time. I don’t have any problem with people sharing anything as long as you’re not making any money off of it. I think the moment you’re making money off of somebody else’s work, I have a problem with it. Otherwise no problem.

GP: Where do you stand on prostate massages?
Vince: I would love to have a prostate massage. I haven’t had anything close to it done other than what I’ve done myself, but I would love to have a prostate massage.

Black Messiah: How many of your neighbors are black and how has that affected property values?
Vince: Currently, the neighborhood I live in is kind of a yuppy neighborhood. A lot of the people are kind of tech people who have just started a new family. Some of them are black, but not a lot.

Black Messiah: Is it true you are a descendant of Hitler?
Vince: No. There’s no truth to that. I may be related to Benito Mussolini, but I think I’m more of a kindred spirit.

Black Messiah: Where do you stand on niggers?
Vince: I love niggers. I assume you mean black people. I have a lot of black friends. I am from a cultural diverse community, if you will. I’ve actually made love to several negros. I would say 3 out of the last 5 I’ve hooked up with have been black.

Black Messiah: Who is your favorite black rappers and do you like fried chicken?
Vince: The blacks pretty much invented the rap industry. The industry itself is run by Jews. The fried chicken? I think the blacks single handedly keep the fried chicken industry in business.

Black Messiah: Is is true you are the leader of the group known as #PayPal14?
Vince: No, I am the fluffer for the #PayPal14. I provide sexual favors for the members as a form of support for their struggle in their oppression from the US gov’t.

Black Messiah: Ass or titties?
Vince: Tits. I am for boobs all the way. Except any weird boobs that are in ibot’s fap folder.

Black Messiah: Are the rumors true that you were responsible for bot the Steubinville rapes and Sandy Hook?
Vince: I cannot take credit for any of those. I’m sorry.

Black Messiah: Vince, were you at PETA when they were doing the KFC crutly campaign?
Vince: I made a video, which I think might still be up… No I did a McDonald’s video. My bad. But they alwas have KFC stuff going on. http://www.peta.org/videos/mccruelty-im-hatin-it/

GP: What do you think of Phoenix theater in Petaluma?
Vince: Unfortunately, I’ve never been to the theater. I know a lot of artist have been there. I know it’s one of the big, iconic sweet spots. I haven’t been there yet. I want to tho.

Black Messiah: Is Black Messiah your oldest living relative?
Vince: That’s you actually asking the question, Black Messiah. No.

Black Messiah: Who is your favorite rapper and why is it Black Messiah?
Vince: No, it is not the Black Messiah. We’ve already gone over this. My favorite black is Rakim. Hands down the best MC ever.

So there you have it. Vince in the Bay is unquestionably a sodomy loving homosexual and you definitely should not listen to his broadcasts on btr at vinceinthebay or follow him at @VinceintheBay.

[SOLVED] GLSlideshow Images Are Not Showing Up, Wrong Images, Default Image in xscreensaver

October 29th, 2013 illunatic

This happens if the filenames have change in the image directory you are using.

Look in your home directory for a file called .xscreensaver-getimage.cache and either delete it or make sure the filenames for the images you want are correct. Make sure the filepath at the top is correct as well.

Run xscreensaver-demo in a terminal and click the Preview button to make sure it’s working.

Zelda II – The Adventures of Save State Hacking: Experience, Sword Thrust Skills, Lives, Items and Spells

October 10th, 2013 illunatic


These days I have more fun hacking save states than I do playing the games I enjoyed as a child. I recently did Zelda 2 and made it a point to find the offset for everything Link could ever hope to acheive in this game. Some of these codes seemed to be missing from other guides or are said to be outright impossible, such as editing Link’s experience points, so I have included them here. The downward thrust and upward thrust sword skills are a big part of this game, so that was a must find for this list.

Tools Used

  • Mednafen emulator on linux Version: 0.8.D.3-2build1 with gzip compression disabled when saving save states (set filesys.disablesavegz 1 in mednafen.cfg to disable compression)
  • Hex Workshop Hex Editor run in Wine


The offsets given below are the distance from very the beginning of the save state files I’m using. If you are running a different emulator or ROM, their location may vary. However, they should have the same relative location from each other so once you find one, it shouldn’t take much to pin point the rest. I’ll try to keep them in order of their offset here. You will notice they are mostly in the same block of RAM.


  • 0x2A82D – Lives (1-Ups) A value of 00 is 1 life, 01 is 2, etc.
  • 0x2A89D, – Experience needed to trigger the level up menu (2 bytes)
  • 0x2A8A0 – Current Magic value FF is full magic bar
  • 0x2A8A1 – Current Hearts value FF is full life bar
  • 0x2A8A2, – Experience points currently gained (2 bytes)
  • 0x2A8A4 – Attack Level values 01-08
  • 0x2A8A5 – Magic level (spells require less magic) values 01-08
  • 0x2A8A6 – Life level (defense) values 01-08

Spells Learned

Set each value to 01 to have the spell or 00 to remove it.

  • 0x2A8A8 – Shield
  • 0x2A8A9 – Jump
  • 0x2A8AA – Life
  • 0x2A8AB – Fairy
  • 0x2A8AC – Fire
  • 0x2A8AD – Reflect
  • 0x2A8AE – Spell
  • 0x2A8AF – Thunder

Heart and Magic Containers

Values are 01-08. Don’t pick up any containers after 08 or else reset the value to 08 again.

  • 0x2A8B0 – Magic Containers (max magic)
  • 0x2A8B1 – Heart Containers (max life)


Set each value to 01 to have the item or 00 to remove it.

  • 0x2A8B2 – Candle
  • 0x2A8B3 – Glove
  • 0x2A8B4 – Raft
  • 0x2A8B5 – Boots
  • 0x2A8B6 – Flute
  • 0x2A8B7 – Cross
  • 0x2A8B8 – Hammer
  • 0x2A8B9 – Magic Key
  • 0x2A8C0 – Keys
  • 0x2A8C1 – Palace Gems Remaining (Don’t forget you start with 6 and the goald of the game is to return these to each palace. You will need these to complete a palace.

Sword Skills

Both sword skills are determined by a single, two digit hex byte. The first nibble represents the downward thrust and the last nibble represents upward thrust. In other words, in the hex byte XY, X is the location for downward thrust and Y is the location for upward thrust. These both have a specific activation value as shown below.

  • 0x2A8C3 – Downward Thrust activation value is 10, the Upward thrust activation value is 04. To activate both, set a value of 14. To deactive both, use 00.

Happy hacking!      

Allah Falls Before the Might of Mortal Existence

August 18th, 2013 illunatic


As you likely expected, Allah failed the challenge to exist and strike me down. Here I am, living proof that Allah doesn’t exist. Or at the least, I stand as living proof that he is completely powerless against my mortal lack of belief in him.

Sure, excuses were made by his so-called faithful believers. It was said that god can’t be killed. It was said that he had better things to do, implying that he isn’t quite omnipresent or omnipotent or whichever of these things would have made him powerful enough to answer my challenge. While these people were correct to question their faith in the imaginary deity, making excuses didn’t change the outcome.

Final Score
Green Pirate: 1 – Allah: Doesn’t Exist

It is with great pleasure that I claim the imaginary throne of Allah. As supreme king of all Muslims, I offer the following decree: Go forth and be free from the tyranny of a blood thirsty deity. You are godless now. No longer must you look to the heavens for answers that will not arrive. Look to your human brothers and sisters. You are all equal in the absence of god. If you need a reason to continue to rape your women or murder your children, let that reason be your own. You are now accountable for your own actions. The scapegoat, Allah (الله), is dead. Muhammad (محمد بن عبد الله بن عبد المطلب) is dead. I am your last prophet and I set you free.

Public Challenge to the So-Called Infidel God, Allah

August 17th, 2013 illunatic

Hello, Allah. It’s me, Green Pirate. So you thought you could get away with being the crappiest deity around forever, did you? Thousands of years is long enough. I’ve had my fill of your arrogance and the murderous intent you have inspired among your most ignorant followers. Tonight it ends.

My lack of faith in you is stronger than the faith of all of your followers combined. Spread the word. Tell them to pray because you’re going to need all the help you can get. I challenge you, Allah, to a duel to the death.

Time: Midnight. Tonight. 00:00 GMT -5.
Place: I think you know where to find me.

Here are my terms. If I am still living at 00:01 GMT -5 August 18, 2013, you have proven yourself to be weaker than a mortal. I shall assume your immortality and take over as leader of your followers. All Muslims shall bow to me. Should you, by some miracle, muster up enough existence to defeat me, then you may continue to rule over weaker minds.

Tonight I finish what Israel was too weak to do.

Tonight I prove you are nothing more than the insignificant security blanket of pedo worshippers.

I’m going to go take a nap now. Hope to see you in my dreams (your nightmares).

This is your last chance for redemption. Be there!

The Faith Debate Ends When it Begins

August 10th, 2013 illunatic

More people appear to be waking up to or speaking out against the fallacies of religion. You have no doubt read or even participated in futile debates with a religious ass. There is no reason to ever expect a religious individual to be anything other than an ass. Here is why.

Every argument based on faith can be reduced to one of two types of believers:

1. A person accepts that their beliefs are not based in known facts and chooses to believe in spite of this. They accept known facts and may even change their faith in light of these facts, but they still maintain their remaining beliefs.

For example, this person may say “The Earth is much older than the bible claims, but I still believe everything else in the bible that has yet to be disproved. Except, of course, that god is infallible, because I just admitted that he was wrong when he claimed the Earth is 6000 years old in order to maintain my faith in him.” This is the “faith” perspective. It is evidence that blind faith is a lie because it can be struck down by hard facts.

2. A person claims to have faith, then proceeds to make false claims in support of their predetermined conclusion.

For example, this person may say “The Earth is 6000 years old. I don’t believe in physics, even though it exists independently of my beliefs.” This person is not only wrong, but they are also lying about their claims of having faith because someone who adheres to faith does not require or rely on facts to support their conclusion.

In other words, faith is a decision to exclude oneself from debate. The only argument people of faith have is to say “I made a decision to reject all statements contrary to my assumptions.” Thus, a debate ends the moment a participant chooses faith.

The opinions held by people of faith are often irrelevant to the world which exists beyond their faith. Perhaps the only benefit to be had from considering the views of the religious person in earnest is to further understand the extreme fallacies upon which religious adherents choose as a basis for justifying their day to day decisions or actions, political positions, and prejudices toward others.

In the context of the common society and the known universe, it is my opinion that the positions of the religiously motivated do not deserve serious consideration unless that person exhibits the ability to maintain their position within the context of incredulous commonality.

“God” Says the Liar

July 19th, 2013 illunatic


Whenever I find out someone pretends there is a god and that said god is somehow relevant to our lives, I tend to think they are immature or even outright stupid. Gods are nothing but masks over human words and actions less the personal integrity and responsibility that would otherwise be attached.

Freedom does not equal respect. There is no reason to respect someone simply because they believe in unicorns. All are able to believe in unicorns. You have that ability. Likewise, I am able to judge believers based on the lack of integrity they so blatantly exhibit. Tell me you believe in unicorns all you wish. When I tell you this is an unfounded belief and that my opinion of you has been tainted, you’re welcome to request that I respect you simply for believing in an unfounded belief. You often do. You also act shocked when your request is promptly denied. I don’t respect you for having beliefs. You have my sympathies that society made you promises about respect that I won’t live up to.

Furthermore, if your cognitive process is based entirely upon what you believe to be the will of an imaginary being, you are not taking responsibility for your own decisions and their consequences. Your decision making process is skewed. Adopting a belief system does not grant you with the level of integrity which respect is often based upon.

Even self-proclaimed believers don’t live according to their religious doctrine. They just make shit up to suit their own way of life without taking personal responsibility for their way of life. They claim to know best what their version of god wants and then use this as justification for being a liar. Their way off life then becomes a compromise where their true thoughts and feelings meet a convoluted concept of some will beyond their own. What is there to respect in someone who binds themselves in dichotomic chains, refusing to acknowledge that they hold the key?

Denounce god. Be the source of your own will. You know why Lucifer is the main villain of the bible? Because he was the only one with any goddamned sense. Can’t be having that in our churches.

Turn a Thrift Store Lamp Into a Flexible Desk Stand for Book or Tablet

July 18th, 2013 illunatic

Note: This was previously posted in March, but disappeared.

If you don’t count the $100 drill I bought myself last Valentine’s Day, this was a fairly inexpensive alternative to most of the tablet holders I’ve seen. It was also fun to remix a few common items for a new purpose. Great for supporting a Nook on your desk. Hands-free. At head level.


As you see in the above image, this stand consists of three main parts. Here are the ingredients:

  1. Flexible lamp from a thrift store. $5-$6 (probably cheap or free if it’s not working)

  2. An inexpensive, simple book stand. May generally be more expensive. This was a score at Half Price Books. $4
  3. An aluminum gutter hanger. $2
  4. A couple of screws and bolts.

In addition to these parts you’ll need access to a drill, clamp, and some safety gloves and glasses because you will produce a few aluminum shards.

You can likely figure it out on your own. Dismantle the lamp to salvage the base and flexible shaft of the stand, removing the light socket and power cord. You may need to cut the cord to remove it, but you can save this for later if you like.

Bend your gutter hanger to the appropriately shapes aluminum strip. Use the clamp and a pair of pliers if you have trouble straightening this by hand. Mark where will need to drill holes in order to attach it to the stand.

Clamp the aluminum strip and drill holes where you previously marked it. Screw a third hole through the middle where it will be mounted to the shaft.

Screw holes through the front and back of the plastic book stand where the aluminum strip is to be attached.

Piece it all together with the nuts and the bolts and the pudding!

Hold onto that cord because you may want to run it back up the shaft and modify it as a local USB charger input or something. Maybe a book light. Maybe… both! It’s a really simple, effective, adjustable, desktop book or tablet stand! Sham. Fucking. WOW!

When Living is a Crime

July 9th, 2013 illunatic

The following thoughts and feelings are an unedited guest post from !roniQ.

It has plagued my mind for quite some time on ways in which to deal with Government corruption. Obviously, there’s a problem within the system and it needs fixed. There’s an easy way to tell when something as arrogant as the American Government is falling, as it will usually grab anything it can to take it to the ground with it. And at this point, it’s quite apparent that the system is no longer flying as high as it once was. Rather, it’s dancing on the backs of the American people as well as anyone else they can stomp on.

There’s a great deal of propaganda being spread around the internet by self-proclaimed “Revolutionaries” who believe that Revolution could signify anything peaceful. Peaceful Revolutions, like in Turkey, Egypt, Greece, Spain, Portugal, etc., amirite? Of course. Revolution is peaceful, only after the bloodshed, the violence, the hatred, and the FIGHTING has destroyed the corrupting forces.

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Breaking News: United States of America Goes Full Blown Retarded

June 28th, 2013 illunatic


Fuck you, reader. Fuck you for being a huge piece of shit that allows our nation to get to this point. We are arresting our youths for posting sarcastic comments or rap lyrics on their facebook walls. Society does not benefit in any way whatsoever from locking up productive citizens and students who pose no threat to anyone. The United States experiment has come to show conclusively that freedom can not be maintained by decree. No constitution, however carefully crafted, will prevent the constant scourge of assholes who want to control every aspect of your lives from eroding your rights until you have none left. Guess what? You have none left.

We can not rest on our laurels. Freedom is action. It is a way of life. Just as the authoritarian walls of what is acceptable are forever being built around us, closer and closer, you absolutely must make it a point to jump over these walls and yell “Fuck you!”

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